Heidi, do you like my new picture?

I made it just for you!

As previously mentioned, I'm not named in your counterclaim. Probably because you don't know my name. But, I will stand in solidarity with those you have named, all of whom are involved in the lawsuit against you. If you thought you could scare people off by filing suit, you should probably think again.

Elle, Roe #1

There's a kind of hush ...

I mentioned in my last post that truth is an absolute defense to libel. What does that mean in the context of Heidi's counterclaim against those involved in the Kimkins Lawsuit and Roes 1-100, which presumably means people like me who blog about it?

You can read a pretty good definition of defamation here, but what it boils down to is this -- in this country, the onus is on Heidi to prove that:

1.) What we've said about her is false, or even if not technically false, is misleading.

Well, good luck with that one, Heidi. Are you going to present proof that you DID lose 200+ lbs on your own diet, that you ARE a "diet expert" by virtue of training and experience, that your diet HAS been proven safe, that NO ONE was harmed by your diet, that those Russian Brides WERE real success stories, and that you DIDN'T lie about any of all that?

2.) That information revealed about her was not of public concern, and that a "reasonable person" would be offended by its release.

Given that her business was founded on a lie -- that she lost approximately 200 lbs in 11 months -- and that she herself has not experienced the "turbo weight loss" she claims her diet can achieve, I don't think any "reasonable person" would be offended by the release of such information. Nor, given the fact that she's running a business, information about any alleged past scams or misdeeds relating to business or financial practices. In other words -- posting pictures of her showing she's not lost weight or pointing out message board postings she's made about how she defaulted on a student loan? Not offensive. Something a reasonable person would want to know before they handed over money for an alleged "service."

3.) That even if all the above were true, which it isn't, she somehow lost money as a result or those she filed a counter-claim against directly profited from it.

The fact that Woman's World Magazine printed a retraction/apology and Consumer Affairs published a story about this, to say nothing of the television coverage of this scam by Good Morning America and The Mike and Juliet Show, among others is going to make it very, very difficult for Heidi to claim OR prove that she lost money as the result of the anti-Kimkins bloggers activities. It's newsworthy, after all, and if Heidi thinks that GMA, for example, are so desperate for stories that they'll take anyone's word at face value (like Women's World apparently did), she's sorely mistaken. I get 100-150 readers on an average day, and I imagine most anti-Kimkins bloggers get about the same -- some more, some less. How many viewers does GMA have? The Mike and Juliet show? How many people read the Consumer Affairs website?

Pathetic.

As for any profits generated from anti-Kimkins blogging -- well, I guess we're doing it wrong because no one that I know of is profiting from it. By that definition, no newspaper or television show would dare report anything, since they really do make money from it. I'll cop to "self gratification" because it is gratifying to know that you're helping to stop what you consider to be a scam. But, given that this is coupled with telling the truth, it's not actionable.

But, by all means, keep trying. Every dime you spend on this case is a dime you don't get to spend on yourself. And I have no problem with that.

Elle

Absolute Defense

I've been away for a bit. Busy getting settled in, new job, plus I've had a few health issues, all of which have kept me away from you, Internets.

But, I got something in my email this morning which I can't ignore. Heidi Diaz has decided to file a countersuit in the Kimkins drama, not only against the principles in the lawsuit against her, but Roes 1-100, inclusive, which presumably means various other individuals who have been dedicated to exposing the truth of Kimkins. Such as we anti-kimkins bloggers.

I've not been named, to the best of my knowledge, but if I were to be, I'm not too terribly worried. Why is that, Heidi?

Because truth is an absolute defense to libel.

Because you will have to prove that anyone you try and haul into court has lied. And nobody has.

Because in the course of said countersuit, all manner of fun things about you could potentially come out in the open through the process of discovery, things that will then become part of the public record. Do you really want that, Heidi?

Apparently, you do. Knock yourself out :)

Elle

This and That ...

Remember how I was saying that Dancing in Socks Guy and I were both concerned about cooking "real" meals for each other? We'd both been in situations where someone or another announced that they were a REALLY good cook and proceeded to serve up a steaming hot dish of puke. Up until last night it looked like we were good as far as that went and then ... well, poor Dancing in Socks Guy had the first "bad" cooking experience.

I've been doing most of the cooking since I got here, last night was his turn. We'd gone out and bought a wok, which he spent all afternoon seasoning with the same care and attention most people would lavish on their first baby. We also went to Talin Market and bought all kinds of good stuff, such as Sesame Balls and Senbei and, oh yeah, stuff for stir fry. I made the oyster sauce and he did all the vegetable prep and stir frying. We ate it, quite late, around 10 PM, and it was yummy.

It sure tasted better going down, as it turned out for me. I woke up around 2 AM and spent an hour getting rid of it by the two means naturally possible. The throwing up part was hard, much harder than you'd think it would be for someone who spent nearly two decades throwing up at least once a day. But, just as former smokers and religious converts are most vociferous about their new lives, so it is with former bulimics. All I could think about was how gross it was going to be, but as it always does, I felt so much better once it was over. Given the short duration, it was probably bacterial in origin, most likely Staphylococcal. My poor sweetie felt so bad! He didn't come down with it quite so badly as I did, just a mildly upset tummy. But, we're both fine now.

I know you guys really wanted to read all about that.

Aside from giving ourselves food poisoning and buying the wok, we also got some more stuff for the house. There is a little stationary store in the Nob Hill section of Albuquerque called Papers. They don't seem to have their own website, but it's wonderful. Aside from gorgeous stationary, they also have unique wrapping paper, cards, and assorted little tchochkies. We have a fish theme in the bathroom, so we got some aquatic-themed wrapping paper which we'll varnish and put up. I'll post a picture when it's done. I also got something I fell in love with the first time I went to this store, and always imagined getting one day should I be lucky enough to live in Albuquerque with my love. I was that lucky, so I went and got these. They are switch plates which have covers from 1950's era pulp novels lacquered on. How cool are these?

This one is in the living room:


This one is in the hallway:


And this one is in the bedroom:

I love them :) They add a certain yo no se to the place, I think. I need to pick up one more for Dancing in Socks Guy's office. He initially thought the idea of getting special switch plates was pointless, but he loves these. The kitchen has "willow ware" switch plates already that I got at Big Box Store, and the bathroom switch has this bizarre three-switch configuration which means I'll probably have to lacquer the existing plate. Maybe with some of the aquatic-themed paper.

Elle

Best damn chicken, ever!

I've mentioned a time or two that this is the first time Dancing in Socks Guy and I have ever lived with a romantic partner. We've both had roommates in the past, but the obvious aside, there's a world of difference between living with the love of your life and with someone you found on Craigslist.

One minor area of concern for me was cooking. For a variety of reasons, mainly our love of eating out, up until now neither of us has ever truly cooked an entire meal for the other. Breakfast, quick stuff, yes. A main dish and sides? No.

I adore cooking, and I was a little worried that he'd basically hate the way I cook. Food preferences are so highly individual, and while neither of us is particularly fussy, I'm pretty adventurous and I was afraid he might not appreciate some of my more ambitious flights of culinary fancy.

So far, so good. He liked my spaghetti sauce, though it's more subtly flavored and a lot more labor intensive than the way he makes it. As an added bonus, I introduced him to the joys of Dreamfields Pasta, which he now loves. He was a little leery of my steak marinade, based on the Eades recipe of an overnight bath in a marinade of olive oil and red wine, but raved about it for days.

Tonight was the biggest test -- whether or not he would like my brined chicken. Brining, for those who don't know, is a technique in which you place poultry in a brine solution for a period of time (how long depends on what you're making). Via osmosis, the brine solution permeates the meat, flavoring it and making it incredibly juicy. The basic brine is about 1 1/2 cups of kosher salt per gallon of water (one gallon is plenty for a small chicken) and you can add whatever you like to the brine to flavor it -- with the caveat that your flavoring needs to be water-soluble to work.

Dancing in Socks Guy loves me, but he did look at me cross-eyed when I soaked a perfectly good chicken in a salt water bath, then proceeded to cut up some oranges and lemons, combined it with grapes, scallions, a garlic clove or two, seasoned it with cracked black pepper and shoved it all up the chicken's cavity. This is based on a method of cooking chicken my grandfather used to do, which he called Pollo al' culo, which, very loosely translated, means "Chicken up the butt." Because you're stuffing fruit into the chicken's ... well, you get it. Giada De Laurentiis has a recipe called Garlic and Citrus Chicken, which is very much like how Grampie used to make it except it has a much more polite name. But the secret to my chicken is the brining.

Anyway, he though I'd lost my mind until he took his first bite and damned if he didn't pick that thing clean, all while mumbling about possible recipe variations. He LOVED it. I think you will too. Here's the recipe, in case you want to try it

Pollo al' culo

Brining Process

1 chicken, guts removed and reserved for broth or cats later
1 1/2 cups kosher salt
15 cups cold water
1 cup vegetable broth
Juice of one lemon

Combine water, broth, lemon juice and salt in large pan or bowl. Submerge chicken in brine, cover and place in refrigerator. Allow to brine for at least one hour. I usually do two to four hours. Do not brine the chicken at room temperature, there is not enough salt in there to prevent bacterial growth.

After chicken has brined, removed and rinse with cold water. Pat dry, place in pan.

Stuffing

1 Orange
1 Lemon
5-10 green grapes (optional)
3 Scallions
2 cloves fresh garlic
1/4 cup chicken broth
Black pepper, parsley

Cut oranges and lemons into small wedges. Crush garlic cloves lightly, chop scallions. Combine, sprinkle with freshly cracked black pepper. Combine, stuff as much as you can into the chicken cavity. Place whatever is left in pan around chicken. Add chicken broth to pan, sprinkle chicken with parsley and more black pepper, if you like. Cover pan with tin foil and place in a 350 F preheated oven. Approximately half way though cooking time, remove foil and allow chicken to brown. You may want to remove some of the pan liquid at this point (it's quite salty, though the chicken itself will not be) to prevent the bottom of the chicken from macerating. Test chicken for doneness -- when clear liquid runs out of a hole poked between the wing and breast and in the thigh, or when a meat thermometer inserted in the thigh reads 170 F -- takes about 20 minutes per lb of chicken plus 20 minutes, so 100 minutes for a four lb bird -- let rest for 10-15 minutes, and serve.

Happy eating!

Elle

Laundry and other indoor sports

Dancing in Socks Guy said last night that living with me has been good for him in many ways, aside from having an enthusiastic foodie who likes sports, indoors and otherwise. Meaning, when you live with someone, you have to live up to certain responsibilities, like cleaning the house and taking out the garbage. Things that are easy to let slide when it's just you and the cats.

For me, the thing that living with Dancing in Socks Guy has really improved is how I do the laundry. By "improved" I mean getting it done before I'm down to the point where my clothing choices are limited to a sports bra, that last, really uncomfortable pair of underpants, leopard print palazzo pants four sizes too big that I kept to remind me of why I low carb, and my Maxwell Equations t-shirt.

Now, in fairness to me, I did not have access to laundry facilities in my last place. To do laundry meant hauling the basket down two flights of stairs, down a steep driveway, into my car and then into the laundromat. Which was expensive. So, I did laundry only when I absolutely had to.

Here, it's right outside my door, and while it's coin-op, it's incredibly cheap so I don't have to shove forty pounds of clothes into a ten pound washer any longer. And now, I actually do it once a week like a normal person would. Oh, I haven't reformed completely, I don't bother separating darks and whites and I use way too much detergent, but, you know ... baby steps.

This is just one of the many differences between me and Dancing in Socks Guy. Now, I like a neat house. A place for everything and everything in its place. He basically never unpacked from his last move, happily living amongst what I affectionately call his cardboard box collection, moving from room to room via tiny little aisles between boxes.

As noted above, I have a very casual, laissez-faire attitude towards laundry. He, despite his complete disregard for clutter and clean dishes, takes laundry very seriously. Not only does he separate darks and lights, he has a process for washing the latter which he refers to as his "sure-fire method for getting whites really white" and which I just call "Byzantine."

It involves a pre-soak step with bleach and hot water in the mop bucket (yeah, really), followed by a double wash cycle in the machine, soap and bleach for the first go-round and just hot water! Don't use soap in the second cycle, sweetie, just hot water! for the second. I mean, hell -- I'd do all that for a friend. And I do understand why you are supposed to wash lights and darks separately, even if I don't actually do it myself. But all this? For underpants and towels?

This is why we do our laundry separately, and why he does the towels and the sheets. Because I won't do them right. But that's okay, it's why I'm in charge of the grocery shopping, because he'll come home with nothing but cereal, Red Bull and beer. But that's okay. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Elle

We now resume our original posting schedule ...

ETA: I just looked at my counter stats -- what in the hell precipitated nearly 1000 hits last Wednesday (July 9th)? Was I mentioned somewhere?

At last, a few quiet moments.

It's week #2 here in beautiful Albuquerque, and I feel like I should write a whole bunch of posts about the trip out and all the myriad adventures we've had. Actually, I feel like I should have been writing said posts all along, but you know how it is. Now that we have our own internet -- instead of having to go to Flying Star to use theirs -- I can start posting on a more regular basis.

But for tonight, a collection of random stuff:

- My cats did very well on the drive. Minx was a bit mouthy at times, but for the most part, just meowed for a bit before settling down and sleeping the whole way, like the other cats

- United Airlines sucks. They canceled Dancing in Socks Guy's connecting flight out of Chicago -- which had already been seriously delayed -- at the last possible minute. The plan was that he would fly to Manchester, NH where I would pick him up. I'd then drive most of the night while he slept, then he would take over and we'd switch off until we got to our stop in Fenton, Missouri. As it happens, our best option turned out to be for me to drive seventeen frigging hours to Chicago, pick him up, and then let him drive to Fenton.

- Speaking of Fenton, if you ever need to stop there for any length of time, and if you have pets, stay here. They let us keep all four cats in the room! Yeah, there was a cleaning fee, but it beats trying to sneak them in. It was well kept, clean, and judging by the number of "pet in room" signs on the doors, very pet friendly.

- The new job is going well so far, though not much is going on since it's such a new company. That will change this week. Everyone has been very nice and friendly, and I'm really looking forward to the work.

- Living with Dancing in Socks Guy has been fine. I always assumed that issues would crop up, since we've both lived alone for so long, and this is the first time either of us has lived with a romantic partner. But, I also had faith we'd be able to adjust. So far we have. No huge issues have cropped up, just the minor shit you'd expect. Like all my copper kitchen decorations. Despite what he says it does not look like TGI Friday's in here. As I tell him, he's living with a woman now. It's shelf paper and guest towels from here on out, baby!

- The corollary to that is that I live with a man now, and it's all DIY with no respect to aesthetics now, baby! Oh, I worried a bit at first when we went to Lowe's and he'd eye the big foam panels and start yapping about making inserts for the big living room windows for the winter. But, I've learned to just tune him out when he says stuff like, "You know, I'd just need to get a reciprocating saw and ..."

- That said, we probably will do the panels. Fuck aesthetics, they're single pane glass and this is an older complex and while we have natural gas, heating costs will be through the roof. But otherwise, our new place is nice and roomy, a necessity when you have six cats.

- Speaking of cats, his two and my four are getting along a whole lot better than we dared hope. Thundercat and Morsel were smart enough to be submissive to Slinky and Ed, since we were in "their" space. My girls were not so smart. But, aside from a bit of hissing and all the first day or so, things have settled down, especially since we moved into the new place which was a no-man's land, in terms of feline territory. The four boys are all to the point where they will sleep on the same bed/sofa, and all six eat in the same space.

- If you have six cats you'd better be damn sure to clean the litter boxes and vacuum every single day.

Elle

Move #2

We made it!

We arrived in Albuquerque very early Sunday morning after a trip that, while it didn't go all that smoothly, worked out in the end. I'll tell you all about that later. The kitties were not especially enamored of their two-day adventure, but all things considered, did very well with it, pretty much sleeping the whole time with one notable exception. That means you, Minx. The same goes for their introduction to their new brothers, Slinky and Ed. While there was the usual hissing and yowling at first, things have settled down a lot. Thank God for Thundercat. I knew he'd be the Ambassador and smooth everything out with his own brand of feline diplomacy.

We spent Sunday and Monday putzing around, picking up some stuff for the new place which we move into today. Dancing in Socks Guy has a smallish one-bedroom and with the clowder of cats we now have, plus all our stuff, we needed something a mite bigger. Okay, I wanted something a mite bigger. So, we're moving into a two-bedroom in the same complex, which happens today. This was, Dancing in Socks Guy gets his own study where he can keep his collection of cardboard boxes.

Today is also my first day at work. It's basically paperwork etc. but I am so nervous. Whenever I start a new job I always have the feeling that I will soon be revealed for a fraud who knows nothing. Which is silly, because, well, I'm not a fraud and I do know a lot. Ah well.

More later, kids. Hope all is going well with you!

Elle

Au Revoir, Mes Amis!

But not for long :)

Tonight, around midnight, I pick up Dancing in Socks Guy at the airport, and we head straight for Albuquerque, my four cats in tow.

Everything has been packed and shipped and cleaned and fixed that needed packing, shipping, cleaning and fixing. Now I just have to relax and trust that we'll all get there safely, one way or the other.

Please think good thoughts for us, and wish us luck!

Elle

Stressing

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

More on why later.

Elle

2008 World Champions!

SUCK IT, LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

Elle

Query

Is there anything that people will not take if you put it outside your house under a sign that says, "free stuff"?

The answer is no.

People will stop and pick up damn near anything.

Last week I put out a bunch of stuff, including a well-used cat tree, and by the next morning it was gone. Today I put out another huge bunch of stuff, including mismatched dishes -- nothing fancy, mind you, just plain old dishes -- Christmas ornaments that are hardly heirloom-quality, beat up pots and pans and two bags full of utensils -- again, nothing special, just Target-quality, well-used cutlery -- and it was gone in about an hour.

I can't wait for the yard sale on Saturday. I'm saving the good crap for that!

Elle